Chuckle

PSYCHOLOGISTS HELPLINE:

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay connected so we can trace you.


If you are hyperactive, click on sixty numbers at random, do three back somersaults and throw the keyboard through the window.


If you are delusional, click on 7 and you will be connected to the bridge of the Starship Enterprise.


If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to click on.


If you suffer drug‑induced hallucinations, press the left eye of the little pink hippopotamus in front of you.


If you have amnesia, click on 8 and give your name. address, phone number date of birth National Insurance number and your mother's maiden name.


If you have a nervous disorder. please fidget with the hash key until you get a connection.


If you have short‑term memory loss. click on 9.


If you have short‑term memory loss. click on 9.


If you have short‑term memory loss click on 9.


If you have low self-esteem, please disconnect now as our website is too busy to deal with you.